my Life

Friday, Dec 08, 2023 Last update: 07-12-21
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even though you think you're not one


    Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So, what do you do? Poke someone in the eye before you're introduced? No, maximize your gifts by accentuating the positive.  Drop the negative clean out of your awareness. Why? It's boring! Let's remember that many who are born beautiful… often bore.

    When is someone most beautiful, timeless and ageless? I saw Olivia de Havilland at 96 in Paris looking absolutely gorgeous. Brooke Astor at her 100th birthday party in blue, stunning.

    I have both vintage and vantage to tell you what timeless beauty is all about. "The real thing" does not go out of style. "Pretty" and "Cute" are fine for juveniles. Every puppy and kitten is adorable. Beauty is indelibly reflected in truth and time reminds us how much power truth has.


    I love the French, they know that "imperfection and beauty go together."
In his short story "The Oblong Box," Edgar A. Poe wrote about a man’s wife: "If not positively ugly, she was not, I think, very far from it. She was dressed, however, in exquisite taste — and then I had no doubt that she had captivated my friend's heart by the more enduring graces of the intellect and soul."


    What makes for some enchanted  evening? A body that impresses from "across a crowded room." I don't care how heavy, thin, tall or short you are; there is always someone out there who will love you in your present condition.
    However, there is one element that defines the spirit that has become your body and that is YOUR SPINE. Elevate it, give your head something to balance on. Shoulders down, head up, tummy in, breathe! Smile! Good carriage and balance are calming.         


    In noticing your body contours, people obviously will be attracted or distracted by what's covering it. Your dress! It seems 9 out of 10 people can offend the eye, and lead to one thought: "What were they thinking?" They weren't. Logos on t-shirts make you look like you're wearing a sandwich board, walking around as a human advert for minimum wage. When in doubt… be classic! You’re not Lady Gaga. Don’t rely on outfits to merely shock. The clothes don't enter the room, you do.

    My hair is now white, the color Marilyn Monroe had at her prettiest, but it needs shine, lots of it, more than you think... till it glows.
A gentleman friend of mine used to put lemon juice on his hair and sit in the sun… the result was sublime.  And I suppose a lime might do, too.
    One thing you shouldn't do is mistake a hair product and a can of spray paint. Streaking is getting passé, and also that inebriated wiggle-waggle for a part you probably  have on your head — a dated look from the 80s? I vote to straighten it.   
The first thing most men look at is a woman's eyes.  One trick is — unless your eyes are the size of saucers — never put eyeliner inside your lash line. I put it 1/16 an inch away from and out from my lashes.
    Rouge? Ladies, too much bronze shadowing ages you. A lot of red, and you're a Danish pastry, but not so yummy.  Think of a sun-kissed face.
I used to keep a photograph of twin eight-year girls on my dressing table to show me just where to put the rouge. Interestingly, on top both cheeks and across the nose. It's more natural and rather delightful. Don't follow the crowd, use mauve, a kind of bluish pink. This works for me, not orange or you'll look like a Texas tart. 


    If you're out on a date and want to look fresh, here's a tip. Go to the ladies room and splash your face four or five times with hot water. It wakes up a healthy glow, the blood flow, and we know what blood flow does for men.
    Shiny nose?  Papier poudre — French powder papers — gets the shine off.
    By the way, there is a miraculous new light reflecting serum put out by Hour Glass, a local Los Angeles company, and it is called Veil. It is not a makeup at all.
It makes you look gorgeous. I've recommended it to men too.

    Are you a cackler? On this side of the Atlantic, half the women on TV sound like screeching hawks, making it necessary to grab the volume control or change channels. A lovely sound comes from the diaphragm, not the throat or through clenched teeth.  Blimey! Get a voice coach, one lesson will do.
    Compliment or see the best in others; project your highest quality feelings to other people. This is the mirror you want. In economics, it's called leverage. If wealth can be leveraged, so can beauty.
    What works for me is: never make the other person wrong.
Here is a New Age beauty prayer:  "Help me to believe the truth about myself, no matter how beautiful."  This is wise, wiser than self-criticism, depreciation of self; again  that's boring.
    I remember some good advice a grandmother gave a granddaughter before the girl was to perform at a recital: "Don't worry. Just let the joy in you come out!"